Monday, May 2, 2011

Sun Kissed

Sometimes, it's really difficult to understand time. Time never stops; it's a tenacious entity that dictates the lives of everything in existence.
Let me tell you, today, right now, I am 17. A measly 17 year young girl, who knows nothing about life, nothing about labor, ardor, doing... the list goes on and on.
Today I am 17. I will be graduating high school in less than 17 days. I will end a major chapter of my ephemeral life and continue a new one.
Nothing is more scary than knowing you will soon inevitably be thrown into a new and complex world and be forced to leave your old one behind. Don't get me wrong, I could not be anymore exciting about attending college. Really. But it's a scary thought. It's scary mostly because it is going to be something so new and so enticing to me. I've been daydreaming about college since I was 12 years old. I've been wondering where I will end up for years, and now that I know where I will be and what I'll be doing it seems so surreal. I almost can't handle it.
Every rose has its thorn. Going to college will be wonderful, yes. But in exchange for a wonderful experience there will be a handful of things that I will have to give up. I will no longer be under my parents' supervision or protection. They won't be there for me every single time I need them to get my ass out of trouble... I will have to say good-bye to 98% of my friends. No, family. I have grown up with all of them. I've know them all for 13 to 6 years and have seen all of the same faces everyday, not seeing them all anymore... well, it's going to be strange. I will not have anyone who will willingly keep me on track. I will for the first time in a while, have to rely on myself 100% and not half ass anything. And most of all, I will have to give up my childhood, completely. I won't be able to be so weird or comfortable around everyone anymore... at least not at first, because I definitely have quirks that only special people can withstand... I don't know. But this transition will be so major and so different. That's good though. Change is good.
All in all, the last 4...17 years really, of my life have been, well alright. I've had ups and downs, but who hasn't? Being a toddler, a litte child, a kid, a preteen, a teenager, and now a young lady... well it's been great. Preteen and the life stages preceding to that one, were great. The best. But high school was definitely the cherry on top... but I'll talk about that some other time...

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