Impatiently Waiting.

Waiting. It happens, a lot. Maybe more than we would like.
It seems to be more frequent amongst people who have things to look forward to. In fact, I think that is the only group of people that Waiting affects.

Let me tell you, waiting, especially for someone who is impatient (like me) is probably one of the biggest catastrophes that takes place.

Currently as of today, March 8, 2011 9:19 PM, I am waiting for:
it to be tomorrow
for it to be Friday
for it to be the weekend
for me to get drunk
for me to makeout with boys
I am waiting for it to be the last week of March, so I can find out whether or not I have been accepted into UC San Diego
I am waiting for it to be the April 1st so I can find out whether or not I have been accepted into Santa Clara University and/or Loyola Marymount University.
I am waiting for my body to get skinnier (I am working out of course)
waiting for it to be Prom
Cherry Festival
be done with AP tests
waiting to graduate high school
and most importantly
I am waiting for summer.

Time feels like it's going impossibly slow right now, but I guess when all of these things come and go, it is going to feel like time sped by way too quickly.

I feel as though I should maybe smoke a ton of weed, literally, then when I am done being high, all of these things will have happened and I won't have to wait anymore.
Just kidding. A ton of weed is way out of my budget.

A Pack of One

You ever have those days where you kind of want to obliterate the human existence?
I've been having those days a lot lately.
Believe it or not, I am and can be quite antisocial.
The fact that I am still in high school enhances my problem a smidge more.
I can tolerate people quite a bit. But slowly, oh so slowly, I am letting my crazy get to me.
I can't stand being around so many people so often anymore. Especially since I don't like 98% of the people I know.
I realize that I have to suck it up, but I just need a break.
Everyone needs a break, and I need some time to myself.
Some time to be the lone wolf that I am.

Halloween 2010

My best friend's boyfriend, my best friend and I.

My Senior Homecoming: That Hot Blonde is my date.

Back From the Dead.

I haven't posted in forever. Ironically enough, I log onto this blog just about everyday. I just choose not to post anything.
It's been six months.
Well here's a recap:

I started my senior year of high school.
I was in my school's play for A Midsummer Night's Dream. (I was Robin Starveling).
I saw Say Anything for the third time in October.
My cat of 11 years died in December. (Dad ran him over by accident).
I completed my first season of Cross Country
I got accepted into Western Illinois University and Chico State.
I applied to Northwestern Missouri, Minnesota State something or other, San Jose State, Santa Clara University, Loyola Marymount University and UC San Diego. I am really considering Santa Clara and Loyola as my only options.
I got a Macbook Pro for Christmas
I also got some roller skates for Christmas too!
I got a kitten in November! Her name is Feebs.
I got a C- in AP Calculus for first semester. (Which is good considering that I thought I was going to get an F for sure).
I haven't been drunk since November.
I got a C for semester in my AP English class. Which is BULLSHIT.
I was a "hot" nurse for Halloween.
Track started on Monday and I am so stoked.
I auditioned for my school's musical yesterday.
and
I just got back from my best friend's little brother's birthday party.

Niente speciale.

I really am having a good time. I think, no matter how boring or how lame I think my life is, I will always know that I am wrong. My life is anything but boring or lame. If anything, I'm boring and lame. I really want to emphasize how great my family is, how wonderful my friends are and how happy I am. Sure, I hate myself most of the time, but it's not enough to make me miserable.

Really though, I want to say something:

TO ANYONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN MEAN TO SOMEONE, ANYONE:
I heard this interview with Jesse Lacey the other night and he said something that I found true and important. He said something something along the lines of "There are already so many horrible things that happen in the world that are beyond our control, so why don't people prevent horrible things from happening that they do have control over?"
So instead of making someone miserable. Leave them alone. Life has its way of devastating everyone at one point or another. So if it's making someone unhappy you want to do, leave it be. Life will take care of that for you.

Seriously.

Warped Tour 2010: Party On

(June 26 2010. Shoreline Amp., Mountain View, CA)

I've sort have become an ol' faithful to, what in my opinion is one of the "events of the summer," Vans Warped Tour. Sounds cheesey, I know.

I guess it's a teenage thing. I started going when I was 14 years old, and every year I have a blast.

The atmosphere is always exhilerating. A comibination of the sultry sun beating down on you, the aroma of sweaty people and guys who forgot to wear deodorant, musicians playing their hearts out, people smoking weed right next to you, and watching people resurface from a hardcore mosh with blood dripping from their mouths, is really fucking nice.

I thrive off of the crowd, each and every year. I really get into the shows. Quite literally might I add.

I am 5feet tall, so I am pretty short, and in those crowds, I might as well be surrounded by angry sweaty giants. But it's okay. Sure, when the show gets really intense and hot, I might not be able to breathe, but its all worth it. Because the ambiance is like no other.
It's enough to make me headbang and elbow people, and bust a move or someone's leg.
I'm pretty sure that if anyone saw me, they would laugh for hours because I look ridiculous. Not only because I look like I don't belong in that crowd, or because of my size, or even because I look like a raging maniac, but because I look like I am genuinely having a good time and relaxed at the same time... or maybe all of those things I just wrote. I'm not sure. Take your pick.

I must say though, the line ups are becoming worse and worse. But, that's what makes the shows so much better.
It gives you the opportunity to do whatever you want; to make it vivacious, by you yourself becoming audacious enough to get rowdy, and make the most of the show.

I like not knowing what band I'm watching, or the songs they're playing. It make my experience that much more virginal? I'm not sure of that either. But in my opinion, it's best to go alone. It's just one of those things that, even though you've done it before, it feels so new and different and better on your own.

And remember:
Wear waterproof makeup!
Bring a hairbrush!
Makeup!
Deordorant!! (especially if you're a boy!)
and
Hand Sanitizer!!
and you'll sure be in for a good and well prepared time.

Summer Calling

(^^Basically what I saw everyday for the first week of my summer vacation.)

Finally. It's here. the season the majority of the world looks forward to with the same loyal tenacious anticipation: SUMMER.

Most of us look forward to this season coming around because it means the endeavor is over, in relation to school, of course.

It means swimming day and night.
Laying out by the pool all day, in hopes of achieving that perfect tan.
Enjoying the best fruits of the year... The list goes on and on.

Summer this year to me means the last summer I have with half of my best friends before they all go off to college.
It means being able to become closer to the people and friends that I already have.
Summer means going to shows every chance I get. Sleeping for twelve glorious hours a night. Running for one hour. Swimming for one hour. And finally bike-riding for another hour. Life doesn't get any better than that.

I believe that summer has within itself a magical potion that can cure anyone and anything. It soothes the soul. It relaxes every part of one's inner being, and makes everything one-thousand times more appealing than it would any other time of the year.

I hope to God that this summer works it's mysterious magic on me once again, and blesses me with a perfect complexion, that self determination I need, a brighter and optimstic outlook on life, more time with friends, and the thing I hope fore most of all (which I shouldn't hope for at all_: the magic that will heal my heart, by either giving me the closure I deserve, or the chance I always wanted but was too scared to take.

I hope every one's summer is everything they wanted and more. :)