Great Expectations

We all have come across highly anticipated events in our lives; a birthday, a school dance, a date… any ol' event. Like prom for example. A girl, may have had the shittiest prom of her life, but that doesn't mean she didn't already have a perfect one to remember. You see, even though this girl may have had a crappy date, a ruined dress, not have danced, got drunk and threw up everywhere, and passed out way too early in the night to savor it, doesn't mean she doesn't have a good prom to remember. You see, she had her perfect prom. How? Well imagination a beautiful thing, and because of it the impossible is possible. We, the people, build things up in our minds. We imagine how things will and can be, and that allows us to live things we haven't had the chance to breathe. So even though we may be upset about how something turned out, we can always go back in our minds and relive that experience the way we didn't get the chance to actually live the first time.

A lot of times, we build this event up in our heads; what we expect it to be like, what we hope it will be like, what we think we know it will be like. Sometimes we expect the worst, and sometimes the best. Technically speaking, our expectations do not exactly directly affect the outcome per say, but the reality of it is that they do in the most subtle manner. Our attitude alone can change the circumstances. A positive attitude can easily make any given situation a better one. And of course, a negative attitude can make any given standing go from bad to worse in a matter of seconds. It's like basic math. A positive plus a positive is a positive, a negative minus a negative is a negative and a positive minus a negative… well that changes. But that can also apply to real life.

Like me for example, I thought I would be with my friends everyday for the month of June fucking shit up, but I'm not. I haven't seen them in 10 days. And even though the summer so far has given me nothing to remember, I have plenty of memories made in my head that haven't actually been lived yet. Yes, that might make me sound absolutely crazy, but sometimes it's the things that make people sound completely unstable that keep them the most sane.

The End of an Era, The Commencement of a New One

I closed the final chapter on the book titled "High School" on May 26th. It, for the longest time, was something that I fantasized about, dream about, anticipated… but as those final moments approached, the less excited I became about the event.
I had built it up in my head so much that towards the end, I was afraid that it would fail to meet my expectations… and for the most part it did.
It was not as glorious or as glamourous as I thought it would be. It was cold, long, and every speech given made me cringe for they were poorly delivered.
But alas, the deed is finally done.
As I my name was called, and I walked across the stage to receive an empty diploma holder, all I could think about was "THANK GOD."
I was happy to be done with high school. I was one of the only people who didn't and never will shed a tear over the conclusion of that mediocre education we were given throughout those four years.
It's not that I had a miserable high school experience. Quite the contrary, I had a great one. In those four years I managed to have 3 different sets of great friends, each slowly meliorating my social status. So by junior and senior year, I was popular-popular. (I was always popular, but not to the perfect extent).
It's not my friends were horrible, but it's more like I was never really comfortable with them. It wasn't like they didn't like me either, they did, it's just that I didn't really like them.
I already have my best and good friends, I don't need other ones.
ANY WHO
In August, I will be going off to college (LMU), and I could not be any more excited or nervous or scared. I'm glad that I will be in a completely different environment with completely different people. I'm anxious to see how many people will actually like me or hate me or whatever. But whatever happens, I hope it doesn't stop me from getting what I want out of life or from achieving my dream.
To conclude this rant of mine, I will just say that I'm anxious for the future, but with a sturdy past as my base, and a well-developing present in the making, I think my future is going to look pretty good. But hell, what do I know? I'm not a gypsy, or a psychic, or a wizard, so I could be completely wrong. But that doesn't change the fact that I am excited to find out.